Monday, 20 October 2008
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Too much, Too soon?
I've been going out with my man for a little over 3 weeks now...
but what surprises me is his commitment and his love for out
relationship and myself.
But, I'm really confused... is this just his way of showing how
much he is actually in love with me... or is this a case of an
extremely clingy man?..
Don't get me wrong.. but I love him.
I just want an opinion and some advice, some... re-enforcement...
someone to tell me that I made the right choice.. or someone
to get my head out of the gutter and tell me to move on.
Things he has done for me:
1. Brought me an expensive necklace within less than a week of our relationship
2. Met most of his friends
3. Spends all his free time with me.
4. On the 3rd day of our relationship asks if I would like to go on a holiday with him...soon. When I give him the slightly suggestion that there is a possibility.. he begins planning...
5. I've met his sister...
There are a few others... but I just feel slightly guilty blogging about him...
So please... give the info that I've written, can someone please give me some advice?!
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Comments (9)
Gosh he sounds a little like me. And if he's anything like me, he's probably clingy. Haha, but it's just his way of showing how serious he is about you, that he's not just 'trying things out'.
I guess there's good and bad things about these kind of guys. Of course you're showered with love and affection, but like you said, it may be too much too soon. You may feel that he wants the r'ship more than you do, so you may end up just feeling that you're taking a back seat in everything.
What's worse, if you try to talk things out with him, you may end up hurting his feelings. He may either feel you don't appreciate what he's doing for you, or that you're hinting that you don't love him.
It's really up to you if you want this kind of guy or not. It might be a little tiring for you, since he might be a little idealistic about r'ships and expects his fairytale ending. Good luck =)
Sorry to say but I think he can do better:
IF you measure how much he cares/likes/shows how he loves you by material gifts and such then you are not good enough for him.
If you want to question if you have made the right choice, you are not meant for him. You should know.
If you love him no question. love him for everything he is, faults and all ( unless their bad for his health like smoking or lots of drinking).
You seem to care only what hes done for you..
but what have you done for him?
How do you show/tell him you love him?
have you decided to be exclussive yet? have you talked about it, do you show him that you rnot going to go with another guy if he buys you a better necklace or something
unless he is mr money bags maybe the gift was from an ex or something...
Ultimately it's up to you.. If you feel like he's coming on too strong, then you're right. I'm going to have to agree with lucasbear when he says the guy seems to be too idealistic about his relationships & expect the fairy tale ending. For me, I prefer not to get jewelry so early on in the relationship because that comes off as really intense. Also 'cause the guy barely knows me, let alone my taste in jewelry.. what happens if he got me something extremely hideous? [I've gotten that 2 months into my first relationship... I never wore it. I'll be blogging about that later on.]
I would take lostinlove2007's advice with a grain of salt 'cause that came off kinda harsh. I completely disagree with that comment. Just because you are wondering these things doesn't mean you're materialistic. However, if you feel guilty about writing these things, then I'd advise you not to think so much into it & accept the relationship as it is. It doesn't go well when you're skeptical of his intentions.. makes it hard to have a healthy relationship.
Just my two cents. :)
@lucasbear - hahaha, I must comment that he is a little clingy.
The fairytale of it all is that it's exactly what I love about him.
He does everything that I've always wanted from a boyfriend.
He is exactly like the man I want, always needed and will always love.
But, I think just sometimes it seems too good to be true.
Sometimes I think to myself... do I really deserve someone that is so perfect to me?..
I know that he is what I've always wanted...but to tell you the truth..
sometimes I wonder if all of it is just going to fade away or if
someone or something is just going to take it all away from me in an instant.
It just scares me... I'm scared...
@lostinlove2007@xanga -
I must say lostinlove2007, your words are kind of harsh.
I have to admit, I am not a materialistic girl.
What I want from a relationship isn't jewelery or fully paid vacations, flowers or chocolates.
I just want to be with that person... to spend all my time with them and get to know them as
much as I know myself...
I mean thats what starting a relationship means right?..
I don't need to measure how much he loves me in such a sense...
I don't even need to measure how much he loves me...
because all that matters is how much I love him.. and believe me..
When I say I love him... I mean it.
In modern society.. the phrase "I love you" is used so often that it could have lost its
meaning already, but because of the few that remain in our society that only use the
phrase to its extent and for it's full meaning has it lasted so long and it contains it ultimate
definition.
My boyfriend and I haven't gotten to the stage of saying 'I love you' because we both believe
that it is such a strong phrase that we shouldn't say it until we really really really mean it...
I guess we both waiting for the right moment.
The reason why I'm blogging about this is because like I said in my reply to lucasbear...
I am scared.... could all of this be too good to be true?...
@still_standing -
Thanks still_standing~
I think you're right too.. never have I been in a relationship where a guy has
brought me something so early in the relationship...
It's not like he gave it to me just because he just had it handy hanging on
his rear-view mirror in his car... he actually went to the trouble of choosing the
perfect necklace for me.
We were discussing our favorite colours one time, and I told him I loved the colour
red... for whatever reason. And, then he goes and buys me a red heart-shaped necklace.
I cherish it dearly and wearing it is a symbol of our love for each other.
My friends always tell me that I'm living a life of a tv-series and my relationship with
him is like a fairy-tale... with our beginning and with our dates.
It's completely like its too good to be true..
and, like I've been saying... I am scared that one day I will lose all of this.
I'm scared that I will lose him.
And, I know that I shouldn't be thinking too much about the relationship... but
I just can't help it..
When I blog 'our' story in the future... you will understand.
@hopelesslii - OMG! you just said EXACTLY what my girlfriend has told me before. She also says she feels she doesn't deserve me and she's afraid of losing everything. What's wrong with you women!? If you find someone perfect, shouldn't you treasure him even more? Sigh, instead, my girlfriend acts insecure and picks at the smallest problems.
Don't screw it up!
@lucasbear -
Gosh! You know what would be embarrassing but totally impossible?..
hahahha... could it be.. that I AM your girlfriend?..
Now, that would be a good story plot line for a new upcoming movie.
lol
@hopelesslii - hahaha!!! that ACTUALLY crossed my mind. But naaaaah, you couldn't be... Coz I don't have a sister. hahaha.
it'd be pretty crazy if that really were true though. There was a damn funny news report that happened several years ago. A girl met a guy online and they fell in love, started dating online, etc etc. So there came the day where they decided that they should meet. And... the guy was her DAD!!! Sick!!!!